The Feeling of Hopelessness

The Feeling of Hopelessness

It’s awful to contemplate a futureless future. The monstrosity of being alive overwhelms you and all aspects of your existence is questioned. The power of depression embedding itself within every atom of your body, taking control and making the good things hazy and sometimes unrecognisable. Feeling like a ghost in this uneducated world has become familiar, and being misunderstood has become an expectation.

We live in an ignorant world where if you break your leg, everyone will sympathise and rush to sign your cast, but if you tell people you have a mental illness, too many people will scoff and rush away in the opposite direction. We are so accepting of any body part breaking down, apart from our brains – baffling as it is the complex organ that controls every part of your being.

Pure ignorance has created a world that does not understand mental health. I think this maybe because you cannot physically see inside someone’s brain – they cannot see the proof that will convince them this is a major problem.

“You can’t reason yourself back into cheerfulness any more than you can reason yourself into an extra six inches in height.” – Stephen Fry

I know it is hard to understand a mental illness if you are lucky enough to never have suffered under its grip – creating a whole load of unanswered questions. I think that’s what scares people – the unknown. There is no definitive answer to why a person has a mental illness or a sure way of how to be treated.

There are many theories, e.g. the biological approach – the theory that suggests poor mental health is caused by an unbalance of neuro-transmitters in the brain, or a different brain structure to those who are considered ‘normal’. The behavioural approach – mental illness is obtained through the environment you are exposed to and your responses to it. I won’t even start on Freud. That’s just to name a few. That’s what pissed me off when I studied A-Level Psychology. I think I was looking for an answer that doesn’t exist yet. I like facts. I like to know why things are the way they are and how to fix them, and I struggle with the frustration that I do not know. How am I meant to get better and make progress with my latest therapist if I only have theories for my illness? How can I be certain that any hidden root I uncover as a possible source is true? I hope this is something psychotherapy helps me become more comfortable with, because maybe then the feeling of hopelessness will subside.

 

 

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7 Comments

  1. 25/05/2017 / 11:13

    I’m still working on coming to terms with my mental illness since I was a child.

  2. 27/02/2017 / 20:47

    Another really good and well written blogpost. At the moment I feel so worthless and hopeless and to read something like this, lets me now, I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing this.

    xxx

  3. Lulu Blue (@LuluDigitale)
    06/02/2017 / 10:31

    You have a talent at expressing yourself, Meg, you have great composition and choice of words that flow. I like reading you, it’s very naturally fluid.

    I can relate to the feelings that you share here, and have gone through them most of my life. I know this notion of uncertain diagnosis due to various theories can be quite disconcerting, but the fact is, we still don’t know enough to be sure of anything and must rely on our intuition to ascertain which theory and therapy better suits our individual needs of the moment, and as long as you can measure your progress (in spite of non-linear nature of recovery and healing), it’s good to remain on a path, at least until you exhaust everything possible from it.

    Sometimes, it takes several tries to get the therapist that you feel is helpful and listens to you – adapting the therapy tools to suit you, beyond any theory. We are all individual persons, and although statistical research by various shrinks have measured successes in their fields, they also have flaws and failures in helping some people, precisely because we are all different and what works for A may not for B, nor C.

    Same for the possible root of a problem : sometimes it’s not necessary to know if this is indeed the root, if the technique to alleviate the issue functions and garners progress over time. Off course, if there is a definite regress that is more than a natural staggering in the non-linear healing process, you may want to find another possible root, because the technique may change at that point.

    It takes time, patience and accepting the uncertainties of all these theories – don’t forget that not only the human race is still a baby in the grand scheme of the universe, but our research into the mind and psyche are very recently scientific in nature, just over a century, whilst before, most of the cases weren’t even speculated : a lot was assumed sickness of the soul, possession and the like… With very unfortunately unkind acts against the mentally ill – and which explains how things shifted into stigma and misunderstanding and, which in turn shall take a while to undo.

    One important thing that must be done for the quest of breaking the stigma is educating, raising awareness – and you are doing it yourself with this very blog, and your activity on twitter, for example. Let’s continue this endeavor and one day, reach our goals.

  4. Peter
    27/01/2017 / 14:56

    This is a really great post and one I can really relate too. Trying to tell people you’re depressed and feeling hopeless is so difficult when you can’t stop thinking how you should be happy and you see so many other people who appear happy and fine. It’s a struggle to sometimes see a way out when you’re feeling hopeless and it seems an effort just to get up.

    Whenever people ask how I am, I feel I have to say I’m fine as I don’t want people to worry about me and you know people don’t really want to hear your honest answer.

  5. 26/01/2017 / 21:01

    Great post! It’s interesting having just hurt my ankle, just how differently people treat that compared to my mental Heath. “How’s your foot?” Gets rolled off the tongue and I can honestly answer if it bloody hurts. Where as if they enquire about my mental well being “Um ah, how are you feeling… you know…*points to head*…in there?” The only acceptable answer without causing extreme awkwardness is “I’m fine at the moment, thanks”. I imagine if you mentioned that you had thought of 3 new ways to kill yourself since breakfast that they would run from the room screaming and never speak to you again!

  6. 23/01/2017 / 12:06

    Powerful post and one which I can relate to an awful lot, especially the feeling of being misunderstood by the majority because of my mental health. This post also made me feel tons better about my own mental health conditions, as sometimes I fear that I am ‘making it up’ or should be able to help it and often I feel guilty for it. But, this post has reminded me that this simply isn’t true – the brain can get ill just like any other part of the body and this is something that people (even me) can forget.

    Lisa xx

  7. Anonymous
    23/01/2017 / 09:01

    Really excellent post. Very well written

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